Category — Work-life Balance (HA HA)

I’m not sure WHY I, or anyone else, thought that quitting my Day Job would miraculously give me more time.  I conveniently forgot that I quit my Day Job to help with my family’s business and to lend more balance to our lives. And by “lending balance to our lives” I mean “doing everything around the house so my husband can work 90 hours a week.”

Sigh.

In any case, once summer “vacation”  is over I shall probably be able to re-devote myself to this blog,  my little business, book reviews, and to the constant tasks of marketing  school visits and my books. Not to mention everything else that’s been lingering on my to-do list for months.

Well, folks – spring has sprung! And I only have 9 weeks left of work at my Day Job until I’m free! Free of the Day Job, that is. I’ve been working for my family business quite a bit – that, plus my press and my cataloging business (plus my kids, of course, and the little one’s plethora of dr. visits these past few months) have been keeping me busy and will continue to do so forever!
Here’s a quick update on what else has been going on with moi:

• My small press’s newest title, The Forever Friends Club, is puttering along. Sales are off to a slowish start but then again, marketing’s been off to a slowish start, too. As with all my other titles, I don’t get too concerned about the book’s first month’s sales. That’s the luxury of being a micropress. I’m in it for the long haul. The book’s gotten some fantastic, well-deserved reviews. Next stop: blog tour!
• I’m really excited about a new writing project: retold ghost tales of the Carolinas! Not sure what my plan is when they’re done – to produce them myself or to find another publisher – but they’re super fun to write.
• We’ve extended the deadline for submissions to Bless Your Heart, the anthology I’m co-editing with Kay Marner about parenting children ‘easy to love, hard to raise’ to June. Kay’s offered some advice on her blog to people interested in submitting.
• On Easter Monday we’re doing a give-away of The Big Fun Guide to Tar Heel Country through our Facebook page. Fan us to enter.
• On May 8 I’m teaching a workshop at Central Carolina Community College on self-publishing. That will be an adventure! How to cram seven years’ worth of what I know into 5 hours?
• I’m enjoying writing a blog and newspaper columns about energy efficiency as a way to educate people about the benefits of energy audits and weatherization.
• I’m rewriting the novel I wrote a couple years ago for a small publisher in California. They accepted it (after 4 rewrites) and had a publication date…which passed, was reset, was passed again…and I’ve come to believe they won’t ever publish it. It’s a decent enough story, however, and worth a 2nd look. That’s a big part of my summer’s plans.
• I need to write teacher’s guides for Mishka and When I Met You before I do a big mailing in the fall. The reception for the Teacher’s Guide for The Forever Friends Club has been really good; I think it’s a great, useful tool for teachers, guidance counselors, and parents who want to use the books in the classroom. Plus, it is a marketing tool! You know how I love marketing tools!

But first, finish the Day Job!

I just re-found an interview that The Kool-Aid Mom did with me a couple of years ago over at her blog, In the Shadow of Mt. TBR.

I had completely forgotten it existed!

It’s so funny to re-read it, because the more things change…the more things stay the same. I still have no balance in my life!

If you have read any of the “Me, Myself, and I” portions this blog, or any of my previous blog, idea-girl, you’ll  that I have been struggling with work-life balance for the past several years – essentially, since winter of 2006, when I took a full-time school librarian job after 7 1/2 years working part time, raising my children, and starting my little publishing company, not to mention writing and helping my husband with his business (most intensely in the past year).

And even though I did a job-share this year and so cut my hours in half, I’ve had a lot on my plate. As those hours dropped, my work for our family’s business increased. We’ve also been struggling with my younger son’s medical-behavioral issues, which takes up a tremendous amount of energy, time, and patience.

Because of all of this – combined with the growth of my husband’s Home Performance business – we’ve had to make some hard decisions around here. We decided that I would quit my job.

Yesterday I gave notice – 5 months in advance, as I’m planning on finishing out the school year – but notice all the same.

I feel relieved. I feel guilty (if you’ve ever worked as a teacher I think you’ll know why). I will miss the kids and the people I work with and the books.

I also feel like I want it to be over with now, but I’m scared of relying only on a start-up business for our income. And despite the fact that my husband is 100% supportive and probably more on board with the whole idea than I am…I also worry about the stresses ahead.

I am trying to get to the part where I feel free. Where I finally have time to work in a little exercise and regular house-cleaning and WRITING into my day…as well as to be available to take my kids to whatever activities they want.

It’ll happen. Right?

my boss offered me part-time. So I took it.
I’m feeling mighty ambivalent about it.
Here’s why: I decided to quit to I’d have more time to work on my small press, on writing, on my other small business and play a bigger role in my husband’s business, which I’ve been helping him with all summer. He has been working a ton – up from 40 hours a week to probably 70-80, and not only does he need my help with the business, you know who’s been picking up all the slack at home. That’s right, moi. And so, while I like my job and of course there’s a (modest) salary involved…we started to feel like our heads were exploding around here. Something had to give. We decided it’d be the Day Job.
But when I went in to quit my boss offered me the part-time solution, which I honestly didn’t think they’d ever consider or I probably would have asked about it months ago, and upon talking it over with the husband and the person with whom I’d be sharing the job, I decided to do it. It’s the smart thing to do. It’s the most intelligent solution. It’s a rational, grown-up, thoughtful compromise.
But also not really what I wanted to happen.
Not exactly the enormous leap out of the airplane from my dream.
More like a half-leap. A step. A crouch.
So what does that mean for my little business? 20 hours more a week to work on it than I’ve had the past 2 1/2 years. Ish (because you need to factor in helping my husband, etc.) Which is good. Which means I can go confidently forward with some projects I’ve been a bit stalled about. But also means I need to stall on some other projects that I’d hoped to move forward with if I’d gotten rid of the Day Job for good. Which makes me a little sad, but is also probably prudent. But still sad.
Now, I’m usually a glass half-full kind of gal, so I won’t be writing about the wah-wah of this any more. I think I’ve done enough of that in this blog the past several months. I need to get back writing about self-publishing and small presses and adventures in marketing.
So, for my last word, I’ll leave you with this: being sensible is a drag

My husband remarked this afternoon that I seem much more relaxed than usual.

You think?

Tomorrow is my first day in months sans kids, sans husband, sans Day Job.

Someone pinch me.

I must be dreaming.

Earlier today I found myselfclicking on a link to an article on Oprah.com about Cathie Black, the president of Hearst magazines. Now, I have mixed feelings about old Oprah and even if I didn’t have to be at my Day Job when her show was on I probably wouldn’t watch it, mostly because I’m not interested in most of her topics. But if there’s one thing I lurve about old Oprah is her guests that promote empowerment of women.

Right on, sister!

I also love reading success stories about women in business. In my Day Job I am not a woman in business. I work in the field of education, which has its own set of rules about success…namely, there is no top to rise to, there is no reward, financial or otherwise, for working hard, and conformity is valued way more than new ideas.

If you know me, then you know I don’t fit in here.

Anyhoo, Cathie Black has a new book coming out and so the interview on the website (and the guest appearance on old Oprah’s show) is promoting it. The interview itself is okay – it’s about ways you can succeed in business, etc. etc. I am willing to bet the book will be an enjoyable read (note to self: get it from the library). But the best part of the interview, for me, was its little preamble about taking risk. Here’s what she says:

Taking a risk is scary when you focus on what can go wrong and exciting when you consider the benefits if all goes well. The trick is to think about risk in the right way and use it to your advantage. Most people see taking risks as opening themselves up to unnecessary, even dangerous, chance. But the truth is, avoiding risk won’t keep you safe, nor will it guarantee a smooth ride.

In fact, the opposite is often true. It’s like the monkey parable: A monkey sees a nut in a hole and reaches in to grab it. Once he’s closed his fist around it, he can’t get his hand back out of the narrow opening. He can’t free himself unless he lets go of the nut, but because he’s afraid to lose it, he won’t let go.

Trying to avoid risk is like clinging to that nut. You may think you’re playing it safe by holding on to what you have, but in reality you’re just hindering your own progress.

I love this. I love how she says that not taking the risk can actually hold you back. In a way, not taking a risk is more risky than taking it, when you think of all you have to lose by playing it safe.

I getting excited for some risky business of my own.

As someone who works about 50 hours/week, tries to write, assists her husband in his business (I am now president of marketing and PR – not kidding) and is also a devoted wife, a housekeeper, a laundress, an interior decorator, a small business owner, a chef, dietician and meal planner, a mother, an expert in child discipline, a tutor, a dog owner, a poop scooper, and a farmer, albeit on a very small scale, of chickens, bees, veg, worms and flowers) I can tell you one thing for sure: I need a vacation. Bad. 

I am holding on to June 15, which is my first day of summer vacation and will also be my childrens’ first day of summer camp. It cannot come soon enough. 

But between now and then, what to do? And what to do for all the people out there who don’t work at a 10-month job and who never, ever, ever get a real day off (don’t try to tell me that a week off at your in-laws with your children is a vacation. Been there, done that. Not relaxing at all.)

Umm….sick day, anyone? It’s really the only way I can think of to have a mini-break. 

So – how do you get time out in this treadmill called life? 

CNN has a nifty little tool set up on their website so you can see how balanced your life is. It says it’s for moms, but it obviously applies to any parent.

Here’s what my life looks like pie-charted out. Mine is on the left. The typical CNN.com reader is on the right:

Note lack of personal time. Although I do have some – at night I watch TV with my husband for an hour or so before bed – but I’m usually doing some e-mail/blogging/working things then. And errands, household chores, as well as cooking and eating overlap with time with children. It’s not like if the kids are around they get my undivided attention! Although I wish I could spend more time with them just hanging out.

Here’s what I’d like my life to look like:

That looks much more balanced to me. 1/3 day sleeping, then 2/3 pretty much evely divided between work, chores, and personal time.

I can only wish! (and plan…)

When I was in high school my guidance counselor, who really didn’t know me from any of the 450 other students she had assigned to her, called me a “free spirit.” This was because I looked one way: like a grungy 80’s psuedo punk-rocker who hung out with a bunch of other like models; and my academic choices and grades looked another way: honors classes and National Honor Society.

A couple of years later I was working at a crapola job at Whole Foods while I was trying to figure out what to do with my life and I was told by the store manager, after a low-blood sugar allergy-prone customer freaked out on me because the lentil soup in the deli wasn’t hot at 9 a.m. (and I freaked out right back, albeit fairly politely b/c I was raised right) that I probably wasn’t cut out for the kind of job where I had to kiss ass to get along. She said this in a very nice way, actually, and I’ve always appreciated her candor.

Fast forward some years later (okay, last week) where I was told by my supervisor that I wasn’t a team player because I disagreed with my administrators on occasion. “We don’t want bobble heads,” I believe was the exact quote, “but you have too many opinions.” Which echoes something a co-worker said to me a couple of years ago: “You have too much enthusiasm and too many ideas. It makes me uncomfortable.”

Oh. Kay.

Meanwhile I’m thinking some big thoughts about what to do with my life and how to get ahead in this world, and I read this in today’s Salon.com’s Advice Column by Cary Tennis:

At pivotal moments in our lives, we must determine if we are acting with integrity to fulfill our deepest potential or if we are responding with fear based on changeable external conditions.

And I think: Damn straight! Damn straight.

If this doesn’t make sense to you it’s because I have some plans in the works that are still just that: plans. But boy do I wish they were reality.